Liberation is a nice word. I like it. Just saying it makes me feel liberated. How many times have you stopped yourself from doing things that bring joy to your soul? Trying new things? Committing to something new? Countless times—I know I have. The worst part was that I was the one limiting myself.

It’s difficult to unlearn patterns, especially when you start believing the things you tell yourself. Most of the time, those things aren’t true. We say them to protect ourselves from getting hurt, from being vulnerable, from putting ourselves out there.

After all these years, I’m starting to show up—not because others rely on me, but because I genuinely want to. The old me was rigid, calculated, and guarded. To some extent, I still am, but I’m trying. I’m trying. I’m trying.

There are parts of me that I still struggle to accept. Will it ever stop? Yes? No? Maybe? That’s how it is, right? It doesn’t happen overnight—becoming okay, or having everything fall into place.

I still resonate with this. Revisiting the word “Liberation” made me think of an old excerpt I wrote a few years ago.

If I could speak to my 2021 self now, I’d say, “You’re doing great. You’ve built the mental resilience to face challenges head-on. Sure, doubts and fears still linger, but you’ve learned not to take things personally. Most importantly, you’ve stopped repressing your emotions and have learned to let them flow.”

In 2024, I’m embracing my journey—not out of obligation, but out of choice. The rigidity, over-calculation, and guardedness are still part of me, but they no longer define who I am. I’m navigating this process, imperfections and all. I’m trying and evolving.

There are still aspects of myself that I struggle to accept, and maybe that will always be part of the journey. But that’s okay. Growth and healing aren’t straightforward—they’re a continuous journey without clear-cut answers.

Smiling until my cheeks ache remains a simple yet powerful reminder of life’s beauty. We have the time we need. Everything is alright. Breathe, Aine. You’re exactly where you need to be. The challenges are part of your story, but how you choose to respond shapes the true narrative. Will you pick up the pieces and create something new, or will you let them be?